Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Majesty in Cinema

Skipping rope is hard and two other things.

I had a painful realization yesterday. Having decided to allow more time for daily exercise, I ventured out into the back yard with a skipping rope. I've seen all the Rocky films, I know how effective it's supposed to be. I managed to skip for roughly four minutes, stopping and starting and cursing. Before I first became painfully out of breath and then began to feel sick. Properly sick. I had to stop and go inside and sit down. It was in this moment that I had this realization. The realization that I am officially a fat bastard. Pathetically out of shape. Obviously this has increased both my resolve and my necessity for an improved diet and exercise regime. It's amazing how useful embarrassment and shame are as motivating factors in one's life.

I had a talk with a friend the other day about careers and life and the like. He asked me point blank what I would like to do or what I would like to be if all barriers and obstacles were ignored. What I would choose to do if I could. It's a big question. I couldn't even get a word out for ten or twelve seconds. I have never really looked at my realistic employment choices in terms of what I actually wanted to do. I merely looked at what was available. Obviously, I have dreams. I've always fantasized about making a film. I daydream constantly of being a published writer, a novelist, an author. I've dreamt of being a travel photographer. But I've never genuinely looked at any of those things in terms of being a realistic possibility. Instead for me they are the sort of things I feel silly bringing up in conversations about careers and work. To be honest they are things I feel silly bringing up in conversation with anybody outside my closest circle of friends and family.

So when my friend asked me that biggest of questions, it left me speechless. Left my mind reeling. And after half a minute or so when my mind finally settled, it left me stood looking down a whole new road. For the first time I was thinking about how to take the things I am passionate about, and combine them with practical realistic employment possibilities. Like others have previously, my friend said that personally he couldn't see me being happy in an office environment. And he is probably right. In the last year or so it's been hard, bordering on impossible, to even contemplate the work environment in which I would be happiest. For a long time now it's been any environment will do. Then the other day I was given the opportunity to indulge myself temporarily. And it felt good. Exhilarating even. My friend thinks outside of the box, as all great thinkers do, and his questions gave me insight into what I actually wanted, in comparison to what I maybe thought I had wanted. Or what I had told myself I would be content with.

When he asked the question, all I could think to say at first was: I love the idea of working as part of a creative team. Of brainstorming with like minded individuals. And working together to create something. It is admittedly, a vague idea. But it goes a long way to encapsulating how I feel and what I would like, nonetheless. I like to write, and I like to photograph things and I like to create, but I believe I think better and create better idea's when conversing with other people. I believe I am funnier when out with friends. I believe I come up with stranger, stronger and more interesting ideas when talking with friends, or other like minded people then I do on here for instance, by myself. Collaboration. I talked about it on here fairly recently. Ideally I would like to have the time and space, to create on my own and with people, and vitally, to have an outlet for these creations from which I could build a career and earn a living. Well, at least now I'm thinking about it. Once again, if anybody out there has any idea's or thoughts on this, please let me know.

On a completely different note, I experienced my first professional massage a few weeks ago. I was wary walking into it. I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of a stranger rubbing their hands all over my body. I had a hot stone massage, and I believe a Thai head massage? It was at the Hilton in Glasgow, and we had access to all the facilities before the event. So we went for a swim, and I used the steam room for twenty minutes, which was seriously incredible. The best steam room I have been in to date. It was so hot you had to walk slowly through the room to avoid being burnt. I also made good use of the sauna.

Anyway, finally it was time and we made our way to the massage area. Where we filled out a health form before being led into our respective rooms. A Scottish girl led me into my room. I walked in to the sound of the ocean. Waves breaking against the beach. There were a lot of pillows and flowers. It was a very feminine environment. I told the girl this was my first massage experience. Then she told me in a very professional manner to get undressed and lie on the table face down with the blanket over me. She left the room for a few minutes and I did as asked, only a little awkwardly. I stripped down to my underwear and laid on the table and put my face in the little holder thing you always see on TV. Then the girl came back in, and went about preparing the rocks and whatever else she had to do.

I should say I had just recently watched that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry gets recommended to go see this massage therapist. And things inevitably get very very awkward when she asks him if he wants her to finish him off, and he dazed and confused from the massage and unaware of the significance of this question, mumbles yes.

So I had this classic Larry David scenario on my mind a little bit as I lay on the table. Paranoid thoughts of unexpected arousal. Thankfully a large part of these uncomfortable thoughts were assuaged when I noticed it was quite a heavy blanket I had pulled over me. Still, I had prepared myself for the possibility and had several thoughts at the ready just in case. Mike Tyson. Scabs. Crustacean's. Thankfully, none of these were necessary. Although I did get a start when she pulled the blanket down just below the small of my back towards my bum at the start. Thankfully, she was simply a very professional and talented masseuse. And I was able to lose myself in the sounds of the ocean, and the smells of incense and scented oils. My consciousness floated up out of my body and I found myself walking through endless green fields in the sunshine. White flower petals floating down around me. I stood in a grove of Paulownia trees stroking a unicorn. I closed my eyes and opened them again and I was riding horseback down a long stretch of beach, in a white linen shirt, my long hair flowing in the wind...hahaha, okay so obviously none of that stuff happened. But I did keep myself amused as I lay on the table, thinking up funny stereotypical new age situations to go with the music. And the massage was fantastic. The hot stone massage, especially. It ended without incident, and Nic and I headed into town for a walk around. Oh and no one warned me of this but I did then fall into a fairly bad mood a few hours later. Residual after effects from the massage or just me being an asshole again? You decide.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A live music review: In which I convey to you my personal experience of the Explosions In The Sky show at the Edinburgh Picture House.

It's very rare I have a live music experience where I can feel the music like a physical thing. Like I could reach out my hand and touch it. A soft wall in front of me. Like warm water.

A packed house of concert goers stood still like statues. Clapping politely after each epic song. I found the crowd reaction strange, at first. I couldn't understand how they were controlling their emotions so well. I thought then that it must be awe that froze them in place. Or maybe this was how the post rock crowd carried themselves. The eternally unimpressed. The permanently subdued.

Either way, I felt like I should be stood in front of this music, this monstrous elegant angelic beast with my hands up in the air the whole time. As I imagine one would if they were having the blood washed off their body with a power hose.

At times I thought I might actually cry. That by the end of the show I would be weeping and laughing like a lunatic. And I might have ended up that way if it weren't for my self awareness. Several times my eyes welled up, but I can't cry when I realize I'm about to cry. If you know what I mean? Still, it's a beautiful feeling when music effects you in such a primitive way. Deep down in your bones.

Stood in this dark venue having wave after glorious wave wash over me. Through me. This living breathing thing. Needless to say I spent much of the show with my eyes closed, smiling like an imbecile.

Explosions In The Sky make unapologetically life affirming music. Beautiful music. Beautiful life affirming music isn't a phrase I often use to describe music made by bands that I like. But Explosions In The Sky are undeniable. The Texas born four piece create sprawling expansive instrumental soundscapes that reflect the endless skies and vast wilderness of their home state. Stood on stage, five men casually dressed in jeans and t shirts. Without the aid of an elaborate stage show. Without sophisticated light displays or smoke machines, they offer a transcendent live music experience.

They are a hard band to describe without the use of cliches. Their music is lovely, sad, happy, soft, loud and aggressive. It reflects the experiences and realities of life. And leaves you feeling wonderful, happy to have been a participant and happy to be alive.

Explosions In The Sky are irrefutable proof of the transcendental possibilities of music.